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May 21, 2014

An Insider’s Guide to Cape Town’s Quirkiest Cocktails

Welcome to your insider’s guide to the Mother City's quirkiest cocktails. Strap in. It's going to be amazing.

Let's start our journey with the... 

1. Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster 

In Douglas Adams' 'Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy' The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster was an alcoholic beverage invented by the ex-President of the Universe Zaphod Beeblebrox, widely recognised as the best drink in existence. Its effects were purportedly similar to having your brains smashed in by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick. Try one for R55 at Rafikis on trendy Kloof Nek Road and soak up the 35m sun balcony, colourful crowds and chilled, upbeat friendliness. 

Where? Rafikis
Address: 13 Kloof Nek Rd, Cape Town

2. The Child Catcher

A suspicious cross between a paedophilic invitation and an underage drinking trap, the Child Catcher makes more sense when you know that hails from The Orphanage Cocktail Emporium, one of Cape Town's grooviest cocktail bars. The Orphanage has an Oliver Twist theme and the Child Catcher is a combination of Hendrick’s elderberry cordial, ruby grapefruit and black berry hocus pocus for R60.

Where? The Orphanage
Address: 227 Bree St, Cape Town

The City Bowl, where you can find The Orphanage and Tjing Tjing

3. Oblivion Orgasm

Promising a near-death transcendental experience, the Oblivion Orgasm is less monumental (but still funny) when you realise it's served at Oblivion Wine Bar in Claremont, a European-style wine bar with leather couches and a fabulous roof-top deck. Still blowing the minds of choc-fiends for R38, get amarula shaken with Frangelico, Nachmusik and fresh cream, served in a chilled martini glass and garnished with a chocolate dusting. 

Where? Oblivion
Address: 22 Chichester Road, Claremont, Cape Town

4. Wrong Island Iced Tea

A sneaky riff on a classic, the Wrong Island Iced Tea serves up 'various juices' (is that even a cocktail?) for R30 at the Chapman's Peak Hotel. One wouldn't want to offend the grand old lady of seaside resorts by saying that. Chapman's Peak Hotel is famous for its sublime calamari, overflowing seafood platters and sun-drenched Sundays sipping other, more alcoholic versions of this iced tea combo.

Where? Chapman’s Peak Hotel
Address: Chapmans Peak Dr, Hout Bay

5. Infidel 

A cocktail powerful enough to make you renounce everything you hold sacred, try out the Infidel at any of 3 Cubanas in Cape Town, our franchise of upmarket Latino cafes. Each Infidel consists of an ungodly combination of Jack Daniels, Chambord, Fresh Lime and Cranberry juice, shaken, not stired for R55

Where? Cubana
Tableview: 9 North Point Center, Marine Circle, Tableview
Greenpoint: 9 Somerset Rd, Greenpoint, Cape Town
Claremont: 7 Aska house, Main Road, Claremont

6. Ginger Ninja

According to the internet, mocking gingers is the last acceptable form of racism and Tjing Tjing, Cape Town's most celebrity-frequented bars, has its tongue firmly in its cheek with this one. Voted number 4 in Conde Nast Traveler's 10 Hottest New Bars Around the World for 2012, get your ninja on at this rooftop bar with a double Stolichnaya vodka, grenadine, pineapple juice, bitters, ginger and lime for R54. 

Where? Tjing Tjing
Address: 165 Longmarket St, Cape Town

7. Green Iguana

The thought of gulping a green iguana down your throat does your imagination all sorts of scaly disservice. Try this gin, Southern Comfort, blue curacao, passion fruit, lime, lemon juice and lemonade concoction for R37 at the vibey Jamaican Me Crazy. All cocktails are available for R18 during Happy Hour (Monday - Thursday 6pm-7pm; Friday 5pm-7pm; Saturday All Day; Sunday 3pm-7pm.)

Where? Jamaican Me Crazy
Address: 74 Roodebloem Rd, Cape Town


Unleash your inner Kraken for R40 at NV-80 Grill Bar, a chic little establishment in Seapoint. The legendary beast consists of New Grove Premium Rum shaken with orange, pineapple and orgeat extracts, strained over ice and finished with The Kraken Black Spiced.

Where? NV-80 Grill Bar
Address: The Point, 76 Regent Road, Shop 8, First Floor, Sea Point 

9. aMa-lekkerliCious 

Ama- is an isiZulu prefix that signifies a plural. Lekker is Afrikaans for nice / extremely. And licious is of course good old English delicious. So this is South African for "many-extremely-delicious-cocktail". You get the picture. Winner of FHM's SA Brandy Cocktail of the Year, the aMa-lekkerliCious contains Collinsons brandy, peach schnapps, triple sec, cranberry juice, fresh lemon juice and Bitters for a lekker R39.95.

Where? Slip Slops 
Address: Corner of Beach Road & Pine Road, Crofters Valley, Noordhoek

Want a little more info? Check out our list of Cape Town's hottest cocktail spots. Or perhaps you're in the mood for Cape Town's legendary craft beer. Like our snapshots of Cape Town? You should follow us on twitter here.

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